Going back to work after loss: thinking it through
Questions to consider before returning to work or everyday routines.
Before you readThis article talks about pregnancy loss. Read at your own pace, and stop whenever you need to.
Returning to work after a pregnancy loss can bring mixed feelings. For some people, routine offers welcome structure. For others, being back among colleagues, questions and deadlines feels like a lot.
This article offers a few things to think about before you return. Take what is useful and leave the rest.
Deciding what you want people to know
You don’t have to share more than you want to. Some people tell their manager and ask them to let the team know. Others prefer to tell one trusted colleague, or no one at all.
It may help to prepare a short sentence you’re comfortable saying, so you don’t have to find the words in the moment.
You don’t have to share more than you want to.
Questions to consider before you go back
You might like to think about:
- whether a phased return or adjusted hours would help, if that’s possible
- which tasks or situations might feel harder at first
- where you could take a quiet moment during the day if you need one
- how you’d like colleagues to respond if they mention it
Talking with your employer
Many employers have policies on leave and support after pregnancy or baby loss, and these can apply to partners too. Your manager or HR team can tell you what is available where you work.
If it feels like too much to ask, you could bring a written list of questions, or ask someone you trust to help you prepare.
Being gentle with yourself
Your concentration and energy may feel different for a while. That doesn’t mean you aren’t coping. Small adjustments, such as shorter to-do lists or more breaks, can make a real difference.
If the first days are hard, that’s understandable. You can keep adjusting as you go.
The Aube teamWe’re creating Aube as a gentle, personal space for anyone finding their way after pregnancy loss.
This article is for reflection only. It is not medical advice and does not replace support from a doctor, midwife, counsellor or other qualified professional.
